Delusional Draco
by Slythindor
Summary: Draco is sick. There is only one person he wants to visit him. So what if Potter won't come and see him? Maybe he'll just have to send Crabbe and Goyle to sort it out... how does kidnap sound?


  Draco was sick. Draco was thirsty, tired and felt as if he was about to die, and still what would make him happiest right then had yet to happen. He sighed, checking the time. When was Potter going to visit him?

  Draco knew exactly how it would go. There would be a knock on the door. Draco would know straight away that it was Potter, because Potter had his own special knock. Two short taps and one long rap. Draco thought he must be the only person in the world who had noticed Harry Potter's knock. Apart from maybe that Weasley girl, or the annoying Gryffindor with the camera. And Potters 10,000 fans. But yeah, apart from them. 

  Draco noticed _everything about Harry Potter._

  So, Draco would shout Potter in, and then he would appear in the doorway like some Greek God, grinning gorgeously down at him and leaning casually against the door frame.

  Oh Harry, Draco would say, what's that in your hand? Just some grapes, Potter would reply, maybe I could feed them to you? And then . . . well, it made him smile just thinking about it.

  It was possible, of course, that Draco had thought about this all way too much.

  Hopefully Potter would come. All the others had. By 'others', he meant a couple of Slytherins and a Ravenclaw girl that was currently stalking him. They'd all been too much, infact. Blaise had stayed for ages, eating gross stuff to try and make him throw up. Eventually, it had been Blaise himself who'd had to go and throw up.

  Draco settled back on his freshly plumped up pillow (that stalker came in handy for some things) and waited. Harry would be here soon . . .

_2 minutes later…_

  Was that him Draco could hear? He perked up slightly. No. Draco sighed. It was just Crabbe and Goyle, back from dinner. Sigh.

_5 minutes later…_

  Yep. He'd be here soon. Any second now…

_10 minutes later.._

  Draco had had enough. Obviously, Potter wasn't going to come on his own accord. He must be embarrassed, or something. Yes, that was it. Potter was too embarrassed to come up and show Draco just how much he loved him. 

  Right, Draco thought. Better take matters into my own hands.

_15 minutes later…_

  Draco could hear them outside. There was lots of scraping and shouting going on. He grinned and straightened his sheets.

  The door to the room was pushed open, and it sounded like an up-hill struggle as Crabbe and Goyle appeared, pulling along after them a rather ruffled and protesting dark haired boy. They dragged him across the stone floor and dropped him at the foot of Draco's bed, where he struggled to his feet, which seemed easier said then done when you were blindfolded.

  "We got him," growled Goyle.

  "That is all," Draco dismissed them, eyes glittering.

  Crabbe and Goyle grunted one last time, before leaving the room, locking the door behind them.

  Harry was not, and did not look, a happy bunny. He'd just been happily sat in the Gryffindor common room when there had been a big commotion over by the Fat Lady portrait. He, Ron and Hermione had gone over to investigate, it not being in their nature to not stick their noses in, to find Crabbe and Goyle trying to get into the common room.

  "There he is!" Crabbe had shouted, pushing past all the Gryffindor third years that were trying to keep Slytherins out of their common room, and grabbing Harry by the arm.

  "What do you think you're doing?!" Ron had cried, trying to push Crabbe away, but Goyle had also taken a hold of Harry, and the two of them were pulling him out of the portrait hole.

  Ron had attempted to dive on the retreating Slytherins backs, but had gone flying over a first year instead, landing flat on his face.

  "I'm afraid we've lost him," said a fourth year regretfully, while the rest of Gryffindor Tower watched helplessly as their hero was dragged away by two Slytherin sixth years with no neck. The emotion was all too much for some second years, who broke into tears as the portrait swung closed.

  Now, he was . . . _here. Harry looked around the room, having ripped off the blindfold that had been tied roughly round his head somewhere between Dumbledore's office and the Great Hall. He glanced round the Slytherin dormitory to the pale, grinning figure that was Draco Malfoy, sat up in one of the beds, in disbelief._

  "Hello, Potter."

  "Malfoy!" Harry cried. "What the hell am I doing here?!"

  Draco blinked. "You've come to visit me! How sweet!"

  Harry looked like he couldn't believe a word he was hearing. "I have _not_ come to visit you!"

  "Sure you have."

  Harry wasn't sure which conversation, or even world, Malfoy was tuned in to, but it definitely wasn't the same one that he was in. Harry had known Malfoy was sick, but _delusional aswell?_

  "Malfoy, I was just kidnapped by Crabbe and Goyle."

  "No you weren't."

  "They blindfolded me," Harry said, trying to sound even.

  Draco waved a hand dismissively. "Well you Gryffindors might like everybody and anybody waltzing into your common room, but we Slytherins like to keep ours a secret."

  Harry didn't bother telling him he'd been waltzing into the Slytherin common room a long time ago. "Malfoy, why am I here?"

  "I don't know," Draco smiled innocently. "Why don't you tell me?"

  Harry sighed. "I don't have to stay here and put up with you, Malfoy." He turned towards the door and pulled at the handle, annoyed to find it locked.

  He was just reaching into his pocket, when Draco, who was admiring his nails, said, "Crabbe's an awfully good pick-pocket, don't you think?"

  Harry was left pulling air from his robes. He sighed, turning back round. "Open the door, Malfoy."

  Draco frowned. "Why? Leaving so soon?"

  "Yes!" Harry cried.

  "Why?" Draco actually looked hurt.

  "Because I don't want to be here!"

  "Why?"

  "Because you kidnapped me!"

  Draco gasped. "I did not kidnap you!" He paused. "Crabbe and Goyle did. I simply hired them to do it."

  Harry groaned. "You can't just go around kidnapping people, Malfoy!"

  Draco frowned. What was Potter talking about? He could do anything he liked. He was Draco Malfoy, wasn't he?! "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter."

  "You kidnapped me!"

  "I thought we'd already been through this?" Draco said.

  Harry threw up his hands in incredulity. He started to say something, but then decided not to. What could he possibly say to Draco Malfoy in this situation?

  "Potter," Draco whined. "Can you just come over here and sit on my bed already?"

  "What?!" Harry exploded. "What makes you think I'm going to go and sit on your bed?!"

  Draco pouted. "You're meant to be nice to me! I'm sick."

  "You're bloody delusional."

  Draco's bottom lip quivered. Harry, alarmed, stepped forwards, not wanting Draco to cry or anything. "I – um… look, I'll sit on your bed, okay!"

  Draco's lip curled upwards. Harry could only imagine that Draco was trying to smile. He obviously needed practice.

  Wincing, Harry scooted over to the bed and perched gingerly right on the end of it. Draco stared at him, eyebrows raised. Harry frowned. "What?"

  "No need to be so jumpy, Potter, I've been in the same bed as you before."

  Harry decided he'd probably be better off not knowing when the hell Draco Malfoy had been in his bed. He slid back a few centimetres instead, just to be on the safe side. 

  "So," Draco said happily. "What've you bought me?"

  "Excuse me?"

  Draco's happiness didn't slide. "What have you bought me?" he repeated.

  "Bought you?"

  "Yes," Draco nodded. "Bought. As in presents."

  "Malfoy, I haven't bought you anything."

  "Oh, okay," Not to be deterred, Malfoy said, "So, what have you got to tell me?"

  Harry raised an eyebrow. "Tell you?"

  "Yep," Draco replied. "School gossip. Any detentions given? Giant snakes let loose? Murderers running around? Mudbloods die?"

  "No!" Harry cried, jumping to his feet.

  "Oh," Draco shrugged. "Pity."

  Harry shook his head. He almost laughed out loud, but thought that that might make him more insane then Malfoy. That's what he was, wasn't it? Insane. He must be, to be stuck in a Slytherin dormitory with Draco Malfoy.

  "So," Draco said. "You have nothing to give, or to tell me?"

  "No, Malfoy, I really don't."

  Draco looked annoyed. "So then why are you here?"

  Harry blinked. "Malfoy! I don't have anything to give you, or anything to tell you, or _anything, because you kidnapped me!"_

  "I did no-!"

  Harry cut him off. "Fine! You hired Crabbe and Goyle to kidnap me!"

  Draco nodded firmly. "No need to get so tetchy, Potter."

  "You can't just go around kidnapping people, Malfoy." Wow. Déjà vu.

  "Well you weren't going to come on your own!" Draco yelled suddenly. He looked flustered and a piece of well slicked back hair sprang forwards in rage.

  Harry gawped, pulling off an impression of a goldfish rather well. "You wanted me to come?" he said, slowly.

  "No, of course not," Draco replied, far too quickly for Harry's liking.

  "Yes you did."

  "Did not."

  "Did so."

  "Did not."

  "Did so."

  "I did."

  "Did so!" Harry paused, frowning. "You did?"

  Draco nodded. "Unfortunately."

  "Oh."

  There was silence. Harry looked at Draco, who was staring at his bed sheet as if it was interesting. He looked very embarrassed. Harry didn't think he'd ever seen Draco look like that before.

  "Malfoy," Harry said, sitting down next to him. "I lied. I have got you a present."

  Draco looked up hopefully, "Really?"

  Harry nodded, before leaning down and kissing Draco quickly. Draco frowned. That was far too rushed for his liking.

  "What's wrong?" Harry asked, panicking slightly. What had he just done?!

  Draco looked up at him. "I don't suppose you bought any grapes?"

The End.


End file.
